The Ultimate Guide to Going Down On Your Partner: Here to Even Out the Playing Field (So We Can All Experience Pleasure)

Going down on someone is one of the more intimate acts you can do with someone. It requires getting up close and personal with another person's body and learning what makes them tick. While it can emit some of the most intense sexual pleasure, it can also be awkward and uncomfortable and leave you or your partner feeling defeated. The latter usually comes from feeling too much pressure to “perform”. Before reading any further, please know that sexual intimacy isn't always about the climax. You can still have good sex without reaching an orgasm. Focus on being present with your partner and enjoying the sensations as they come.

That being said, here is our WET guide to oral sex.

For The Givers:

Don't Be Scared
If you are the one going down on your partner, don't be intimidated. Now is your chance to show your admiration for your partner and their body. Chances are, if your partner senses hesitation from you, they are less likely to feel comfortable with you all up in their space. Instead, get the mood going with some sensual kisses and when things start heating up, make your way down south. One way to show that you're excited about what's next is to make eye contact with your partner. If that's too much for you, just continue to kiss and touch, but do it deliberately. There's no need to be sloppy here. That will come later. Being confident with your movements and will give your partner the reassurance they may need to relax and be present with you.

Bring in Reinforcements
If you are in need of extra lubrication due to a major life change or you just like things extra wet…look into using lube. WET offers Oral Play lubricants perfect for going down on your partner, including flavors as tasty as Sultry Strawberry and Tropical Explosion. These will ensure it'll be a treat for both you and your partner.

Put On a Bit of A Show
Sex can be anything you want it to be. And the best sex plays off your dynamic with your partner. If you both are silly together, there's no harm in being a little extra to make you both comfortable. If you are both extremely in-tuned and passionate, when the lights dim, put on a sexy playlist and let yourself get lost in the sensations. Either way, dedicating yourself to giving someone oral sex will put you in a sexy mindset and may relieve some of that seriousness that can come from expectations.

Show Your Appreciation
Now is your time to fully worship your partner and their body. Think about how they turn you on and reciprocate it back to them. Chances are, if you're enjoying yourself, they are too. Don't be afraid to show your appreciation in any way that comes natural to you - whether it's a compliment, a noise, a tongue…or all three. Let them know you're happy to be there.

Be Patient
While it's true that not every time you have sex you'll hit climax, it's also true that often, it can take some time. Now's the time to practice your patience, and your breathing. And don't get defeated…sometimes the longer it lasts, the better it feels.

A Little Tease Never Hurt Anybody
Once you can sense your partner is present with you and fully in the mood, try teasing them. Just a bit. Their mind will start racing and the buildup will make the climax just a little bit more satisfying.

If You Are Receiving:

Be Encouraging
If someone is going down on you, let them know you want them to be there. It can be awkward going down on someone, especially if it's a first time, and letting them know that A) you're okay with it and B) you're enjoying it, will make the other person feel more comfortable to go at it with full force. Your encouragement can come from a verbal confirmation or even a simple nod. Whatever feels natural to you.

Help Them Out
Along with encouragement, don't be afraid to help them out. Some people may need some extra guidance, especially if they aren't sure what you like just yet. Don't be afraid to push their hair back, communicate what spots give you the most pleasure, or offer to use lube to help stimulate areas such as the clitoris. You can get WET's Wow Max O Clitoral Arousal Gel to assist in ultimate pleasure. And don't forget to give your partner confirmation when they've hit the jackpot, it will all give them that boost of confidence they need to be present with you.

Don't Feel Pressure to Perform
Look, the fact is, you could be with someone for years and know their body and their ticks inside and out and still not be able to orgasm. It's just the way things go sometimes. Sometimes we're too stressed, we're not feeling quite right, or sometimes our bodies just don't let us. That doesn't mean having sex with someone isn't enjoyable. So much of the pleasure of sex comes from the connection that develops from being physical with someone. Just breathe and let yourself enjoy the experience of someone being close to you. Putting pressure on yourself to have that scream-worthy 'O' will only make you live in your head (and that's not where the pleasure comes from, btw).

Enjoy It
Sex is supposed to be fun! It's pleasurable. Don't act like it's a task or a means to an end. Lean into your sensuality, allow yourself to be turned on, and savor the moment. There's no use to feeling embarrassed or stressed by oral sex. It's a natural desire and allowing yourself to enjoy it will make the sensations feel even better.

Show Your Thanks
When all is said and done and cum, don't just tell your partner thank you, but show them your thanks. Relish in your glow with a cuddle or, once you've caught your breath, reciprocate the gesture. The night can last as long as you want it to. Always remember, to #JUSTADDSEX